By Lois Duna
Body language can attract or repel.
5 actions to practice and 5
to avoid.
I
saw a newspaper headline,* Bush, Hu pledge cooperation but make little
progress.* The accompanying photo showed them seated several feet apart,
looking in opposite directions from each other. Their hands were somehow
connected though the rest of their body is schoolboy straight as if they were
trying to surreptitiously pass a note in class. Each had a pasty smile
directed at no one in particular. Is there any wonder they are making little
progress? More than what you say in Chinese or in English, it is your body
language and your tone that will make connection and build rapport.
Body language to practice:
1. Make eye contact. When both speaking and listening, be
present. Make eye contact to show your interest. When addressing a group, move
your eyes slowly, focusing on different individuals for a few seconds each.
2. Take a step forward to make an important point.
3. Lean slightly towards a person to reinforce your careful listening
and to encourage them to offer more information.
4. During a Q ... A, take a step back to remove yourself from the center
of attention and focus on listening to the questioner. You can step forward
again, if you like, when you answer.
5. If you have contrasting statements or lists, use one hand and then
the other to gesture. If your contrast is lengthy you can take a step to one
side and then the other of the platform.
Body language to avoid:
1. Fiddling with your hair
2. Hands in pockets or grabbing any part of your clothing
3. Rapid pacing
4. Darting eyes. If you need to look away, e.g., at the time, do it
slowly and gracefully so it does not rudely interrupt the flow of your
speaking.
5. Pointing a finger (towards the listener, not a chart)
Start noticing your own body language. Ask others to give you feedback. What
actions do you find attractive and natural? What are the actions that detract
from your sound appearance? The goal of good sound appearance is to achieve
congruence, where your content your tone and your body language all agree. It
is then, and only then that you appear credible and authentic.
lois@loisduna.com
Author's URL: http://www.loisduna.com
Lois Duna, a master sound image coach, consultant and public speaker
is the originator of the Sound Appearance Voice Leadership System. For more
about Lois see www.loisduna.com.